I was under the impression that getting a biopsy was an easy snip job and you could be on your way in no time. WRONG!

If you have had or about to have a biopsy to determine your type of lymphoma, don’t be scared. It’s not pleasant but it is really the least of your worries at this point. To me the scariest part was being wheeled down to the surgery prep room and waiting. When my surgeon came to get me I was nervous as all hell because I had never been under the knife like that before. He reassured me along with the anesthesiologist that I was in good hands and that I would not feel a thing.

Ok fine. Let’s get this over with.

The operating room was ice cold and I’m naked underneath those crappy gowns hospitals give their patients. I was shaking from both fear and cold. The surgeon tucked my arms and legs tightly under blankets and strapped me into the operating table. Oh, Okay.

TheĀ anesthesiologist told me to think about something pleasant so I closed my eyes to think about my wife in a field of flowers from a trip we took the the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Yeah, Really gay I know but I had to think about something nice so I wouldn’t jump off that table screaming. Close to a minute passed and I’m still thinking about my wife, why the hell am I still awake??? Then I hear a buzzing sound, HOLY SHIT THEY HAVE A SAW RUNNING AND THEY’RE GOING TO START BEFORE I GO UNDER!!!

In sheer panic I opened my eyes to see my surgeon holding a mini-electric shaver and trimming some of my chest hair. That’s the last thing I remember until I woke up.

I had a biopsy of the lump in my left collar performed as well as had a port installed in my chest. A port (in my case it’s called a Mediport) is a small silicone sack that is put into your chest so that when you get chemotherapy, the nurses don’t have to inject the drugs into your vein, they send it through this little silicone sack under your skin.

It has been almost a week since the procedure and the biopsy area doesn’t really hurt all that much, just a little uncomfortable. The port on the other hand looks like a little lump on my right upper chest surrounded by a light green and yellow bruise and is sore as all hell. The only way I can describe the soreness is that you went to the gym and lifted way more than you could handle for about 2 hours and you feel like you destroyed your chest muscle the next morning.

If you’re going through a biopsy or having a port installed soon all I can say is be strong, don’t worry too much. You’re going to wake up and you’ll feel fine later that day…if not there’s always that handy Percocet prescription to keep the pain at bay.

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